Here not There

There are two BIG things I have to finish before I can have my life in LA…I have to finish my Masters and my contract with my job. These two things seem..simple enough. All I have to do is get up every morning, go sit in front of a computer or outside for a rally, enter some data, go across town to school, study, take tests, and write papers. That sounds so easy. But it’s not.

Living in this life is like jail sometimes.

I feel trapped. I have a clear picture of what my life in LA is going to look like. I know what it is going to feel like..taste like..smell like. I just can’t have it yet. I have to finish my work at a job that requires all of my time. I have to finish school which I’m neglecting because of work.

It makes me so sad to do those two simple things everyday. It makes me angry. It makes me feel like everything is out to get me. And then I start acting like the most simple little things (the way someone talks to me, a harmless comment, a joke) are huge…and then I’m angry at myself for not acting like myself.

Unfortunately the only person, other than myself, that gets to see this stress and pms induced cycle is my love. She is a saint. She listens to me babble thru tears and talk my way thru anger and back to normal me. I am so lucky to have such a wonderfully supportive woman that loves me no matter what and just wants me to be happy (and yes love..even thru all my frustrations I really am happy..how could I not be? Every time I hear you say my name..it makes my day THANK YOU for understanding me when I’m making no sense at all and knowing that I love you no matter how sad or stressed I get)

This too shall pass..and soon enough I will get my real life. (I can’t wait for my peak into my life next week..YAY)

I’ve never buckled under stress (well..just that one time) I’ve never given up, I’ve never felt like I couldn’t finish what I started. And this time I won’t either.

This time I’m lucky… I’ve never been loved so much before

Almost back to the world.

Hello everyone.. I am proud to say that I took the LSAT last weekend and am almost back to the regularly scheduled program. Last night I actually got to go OUT and today I cleaned half the apartment!!

I have so much i want to write about..

But guess what…I have a exam on Tuesday sooooo..gotta study.lol

I really really miss blogging about life and what makes my life go around..like my trips and fun..all the pre-LA things..and food y music!!

So here is a song for my soundtrack… My GF and Hov kept me from buckling under the pressure and the ppl that didn’t believe in me. (Thanks baby)

Be Peace!

Greetings from the wilderness…

RIGHT NOW… right this very second I am in the middle of nowhere California..close enough to tell you I am in the Bay area.. far enough away to say I couldn’t find us on a map.

I’m a city girl..and while I appreciate the beauty and importance of nature (my first word as a child was “outside”) I never get to enjoy this type of nature. The complete silence, absence of pollution, completely and closely surrounded by nature and all it holds. I’ve seen all types of wild animals, happy California cows on hills eating grass, bugs.

Oh..I forgot to say why I’m in the wilderness. I’m at the SPIN Project’s SPIN Academy.

Tonight will be the last night that I get to enjoy the wonders of nature..tomorrow I’ll be back in the city snuggled in a bed at the Fourseasons with my love. I can’t wait.

Pictures and more to come.

The Hurdles Have Begun…

I already hit a bump in my BIG “P” Promise of 5-10 LSAT questions per day. Yesterday I ended up getting stranded at my mom’s house for a good part of the day without any type of books or the net..so I got NO problems done

So to remedy that I have decided to carry around my full Backpack with at least one book in it everyday. This way no matter where I go I can pop out my book and do a problem or two.

So if anyone in STL sees a girl in the grocery store with an LSAT book while pushing a cart..that’s me! lol

I have also decided I need more blogs for my blogroll (and my google reader) I want to focus on blogs about people making big moves in their lives, people living in places and starting new journeys, Law student blogs and blogs about Southern Cali.[A big plus would be these blogs in the POC and/or queer varieties] If you know of any..Leave ‘em in the comments section..and if you have any other blogs that you can’t stop raving about, yours included..let me know those too..

Thanks!

What I’ve been up to..

Hello All…

I haven’t been back to LA in a few weeks I won’t be back in LA until Labor Day weekend. I’ll be in the Bay  area  at the end of the month for the SPIN Academy..and will be spending 24 hours there with my love… Doesn’t seem like much but I take every bit I can get.

Since my last trip I’ve just been working and working and working.. The Federal Healthcare Reform work is killing me. I was at the McCaskill Townhall when THIS happened..that was the scariest room I have ever been in. Those Tea Baggers are really just a bunch of racist white people that need somewhere to direct their anger that we have a black president.

Other than work I’ve been trying to stay on top of studying for the LSAT. I’m taking it at the end of next month. I need to get in super HIGH GEAR and start doing atleast one full test a week and 5-10 problems a day..so today..right here on my blog I am Promising (with a BIG “P”) to make that happen. I need to get the best score I can get so I can get in Law School in the first fall I’m in LA (2011)

School starts the same week I go to the Bay..so lets hope they don’t give out a bunch of work right in the beginning. I am so happy I don’t have any books to buy this semester.. that takes a load off.

Well I’m gonna go do a LSAT problem or two… I’ll make sure to keep you updated on life..

Till then.. find me on Twitter. http://www.twitter.com/doubleque

My July trip (Prt 3)

Sunday

Sunday my beautiful gf turned into the hostess with the mostest and we went shopping at my new favorite grocery store, Fresh & Easy (too bad we don’t have any here) Next thing I knew the house was full of friends, there was food and drinks every where and lots of laughing and music.

Halfway thru the party seven of us packed up and went to see “Still Black: a portrait of black transmen” at Outfest… It’s a wonderful film that lets you peak into the lives of black transmen, their struggles, and their joys. I recommend seeing it if it’s ever near you. Kortney and Awilda did a wonderful job.

When we got back to the house only two people had left so we all went in for round two of food and drinks. We sat on the deck and had a good time..played a bunch of Micheal Jackson..watched some “Thriller”..I gave and got a lap dance (hehe) and we all just chilled

It was a great night.

Monday

I always hate the last day I am in LA. It’s that day that gets cut in half by travel and I can’t stand to say goodbye to my gf But we always make the best of it. We went and had lunch with some of her co workers and I got to meet Mama Vickie.. (Shout out to Mama Vickie!! lol)  then we headed to LAX and I was off to do this sad flight all over again.

That weekend was All Star weekend in STL for  MLB so of course there had to be at least one celebrity going my way.. The star of our flight was…. LL COOL J. (And yes..he is just as sexy in person as on TV AND yes he is a vampire bc there is no way he just isn’t aging.lol)

The flight had the makings of being perfect. We had a sexy celebrity in the mix and the flight was only half full. I was happy I got a little LSAT studying and then things started going south. I slept for about 45 min before waking up to see all of the flight attendants surrounding a guy, taking his temp and giving him juice and meds. I think everyone in the back of the plane was a little nervous… as messed up as it is..you just don’t want to be on a plane with a passenger from Asia that has a high fever. (You don’t want to be on a plane with ANYONE with a high fever) They moved him to the back of the plane and we all just tried to not freak out.

I went back to sleep only to be awaken by a strange smell and the flight attendants moving everyone from the back of the plane to the front and telling us to prepare to land. Wait..we were still an hour from home. In less than 5 min we were on the ground surrounded by firetrucks. Then the EMT’s came onboard to get the sick guy..they were in full hazard gear..oh boy.

We finally were able to get off the plane and stuck in one area of the airport where we were told were quarantined by the CDC..then told we weren’t..then told yes we were but we were clear as soon as we gave them our contact info so they could contact us in case the guy died or something…scary (Oh and LL didn’t get back on the plane..mmhmm..just let the poor folk die LL..lol) oh..here’s the TMZ story about it all

I made it home safely 2 hours later than I was suppose to. But safe was good enough for me.

I think the whole thing was the Universe telling me not to leave Cali… LA is my home..I’m sure of it.

Here..have some pics…

*I know..it took forever..please charge it to my head and not my heart..thanks

My July Trip (Prt 2)

Saturday

Saturday morning we woke up in our wonderful room at the Kyoto and discovered we couldn’t remember about 2 hours of our night.lol We figured that makes for a good night and got our minorly hungover selves checked out.

We went to brunch with Laura’s friend Luisa at the most magical diner ever.lol Magical because it introduced me to the wonderfulness that is the BACON DONUT! Who knew that putting little pieces of bacon on the top of a glazed donut could change the world? I find it really hard to resist a place that has good food and is run by a bunch of super kick ass (well..they look kick ass to me) WOMEN.  The Nickel Diner in downtown LA is heaven..get there!

After we stuffed our selves we did what any good person would..we napped. That evening we went to dinner at this yummy Thai place (I can’t remember the name..check the comments I am sure Laura will help me out..thanks babe ) then we went to an art show at  Avenue 50 studio in Highland Park. The show we went to see was “Ashe: Blessings, Energy, Power”. The exhibition presents images of Santeria..beautiful beautiful images. I loved the exhibit..wish it was bigger, more pieces, and maybe more informative lit. Yoruba and it’s decedents (Santeria, Condumble, etc) is probably the belief system that pulls me closest and holds me the most. There was also another exhibit, “Portraits of Contemporary Cuba”. The photography was brilliant. But it was here that we were confronted with the always nagging reality of how damaging the exoticization  of brown people everywhere is.

There we stood in a room full of photos of beautiful brown and black people inside a studio with an emphasis on Chicano and Latino art, and there in the room we were the only brown or black people there. (well in that room at that particular time) But they were there..the ones whose history collides with ours, who brought these chocolate brown tones to that island, those whose history beat our backs down, those whose oppression forced those brown faces to have to survive in the most unthinkable ways. They marveled at those pictures not like they were adoring the art..their faces said “What beautiful creatures”.  We over heard “those” conversations BUT I found it very satisfying that they were there to see an exhibition about a religion they couldn’t break… beliefs they couldn’t take away the way they successfully took everything else.[But maybe this is a topic for my other blog??hmm]

We went home after the show..had a juice taste test…then called it a night.

Stay Tuned

ps..yes I talk about food alot..I LOVE food and I think food can make or break a city. I mean who wants to live where the food sucks or its just boring?

My July Trip (Prt 1)

I decided to break this trip up..it was packed full of stuff..happy reading

Last Thursday I made the journey to LA once again. I worked all day then left on the latest flight out ti LAX. My Love picked me up curbside and we were off to her house for a little sangria and a night in .

Friday morning we got up relatively early and headed to Beverly Hills. This trip was my turn to surprise Laura (ps it’s very hard to surprise Laura so I had to tell her part of it.lol) I decided to treat her (and myself) to some nail pampering at Chi Nail Bar. I got a signature pedicure and some cute blue polish and my boo got a signature pedi with cute pink and silver Minx (like Beyonce) and a mani with sparkly red polish.

Afterward we took our pretty hands and feet to a yummy organic cafe The Cabbage Patch. We munched on the Chicken Apple salad, Burger, and yam wedges and sipped on mint green tea, lemonade, and Pellegrino for the lady .  We left so full and satisfied. It is a MUST if you are in LA to hop over to Beverly Hills and eat at this cafe.

Then, we went to get ready for my baby’s wonderful party. We got a room at the Kyoto Grand (again..we love that place) and got all dolled up.

Laura’s production company, Sappho’s Return,  did a collabo party with the ladies of Chocolate & Wine at the rooftop garden at the Kyoto. It was marvelous. The weather was beautiful, the people were beautiful, and the garden was beautiful. We all ate and drank and danced all night. Sometime halfway through the night the line at the bar got way too long and our waitress was nowhere to be found..my baby said she wanted a drink..so I did what any really good girlfriend would do, I ordered a bottle of Grey Goose for the table! That made the night even more fabulous and in about 2 hours or less the bottle was gone and I think everyone at our table were officially DRUNK .lol

We headed up to the room and woke up the next morning trying to piece together all of the goings on between the time we got in the room and the time I realized I had drunk WAY too much.lol We still haven’t figured it out..but I’m sure we had a good time

Check out the pics below of Friday’s party…I’ll be back with the rest of the weekend!

Ready to hit the party!

Shots Prt1

*muah*

Some of the LA Fam

The Goose had a photo shoot..this was one of many.lol

Love and I

A Weekend in Paradise

Last weekend I flew to LA and spent some QT with my beautiful Girlfriend Laura. It was a quick trip, but packed full of excitement and a surprises I’m still smiling about. The idea of this weekend started out as just the two of us being secluded from the world, however, Laura planned the perfect weekend that included good food, family, and friends. SOOO Let’s re-cap shall we….

Friday:

So Friday I actually went to work for most of the day..I finished some reports and got some organizing done. I ran home, got ready, and was off to my 4:30 flight. But American Airlines had a little surprise for me. Once I was all boarded and ready to go a bunch of repair guys got on the plane and the next thing I knew we were all stranded on this plane in 100 degree weather for 30 minutes are more. They finally let us out of the sweatbox and then told us it would be another hour or so before we could take off… no biggie we made it to LAX safely and that was the most important part.

I got to LA and my boo, in true high femme fashion was late No biggie here either, it wasn’t really her fault and we got to giggle about her being late when she had an extra 2 hours. The wait was wellllll worth it though..she looked gorgeous!

We spent the night at the Kyoto Grand Hotel in Downtown and had a late dinner (I was STARVING) at Pangea, a really beautiful garden bar on the roof of the hotel (P.S. If you are in LA check the garden out..it’s really nice). When we got to the room their was a bottle of champagne and a desert plate waiting, courtesy of Laura’s good friend that’s pretty much running the whole hotel. We sat and talked with her in the garden and had some fierce drinks and yummy food and then went back to our room…

And then….

Well…

Let’s just say… fishnets and leopard print make me a very happy grrl/boi…lol

Saturday:

We got up SUPER early after only having about an hour sleep My Love had planned a wonderful suprise for me so we checked out of the hotel and drove to Orange County aka Rich White County.lol We arived at this little cafe near the water way earlier than my suprise got there so we just grabbed a table at this cafe..and this is when I figured out what my suprise was. My Love suprised me with part of my family that I never met!! Soooo while we waited for my Sister and the kids to get there we got to spend time with our lovely waitress..oh wait..did I say lovely..I meant the rude chick serving us. I think she was seriously suffering from a “why are the help eating at OUR restuarant” moment. There were no brown faces any where insight and she was a little taken back I think.

Luckily getting to have breakfast with my sister, nephews, and cousin ( All of which I was meeting for the very first time…Yes thats right meeting my sister in person for the VERY FIRST TIME) was worth being the only brown faces in sight.  We talked and ate and then went outside and talked while the kids ran off some of the syrup and cinnamon toast they inhaled.

Getting to meet my sister in person and my handsome nephews was the BEST suprise ever…it was such a long time coming. I was so happy to FINALLY be sharing space with them. My sister and I talk ALL the time but to see her was so special. I am so blessed, with a wonderful sister and an amazing girlfriend that made this all happen (and who I am finding out is becoming bestis with my sis.. future sister-in-law love.awwww)

Saturday night we went to see Cabaret at the Met Theater.  I femmed it up for the occasion and caught my love staring at my butt in tight pants more than a few times. (lol I love it) We were super cute.

We had cocktail seating which was cool. Somehow they had less tables than they were suppose to and we were pushed in a corner..luckily no fires started. We sat next to this really cute old gay guy..I think his name was Bill and on the other side was this OLD school lesbian that had that old dyke swagga..she was killing me the whole night.lol The show was great. We are both musical geeks, Laura a bigger one than I, so it was really fun to watch her eyes sparkle.

We ended the night at Jack in a Crack… after unsuccessfully buying hotdogs (one of our shared guilty pleasures) at the gas station. Oh wait.. no.. we bought the hotdogs after we took them out the packaging and realized they were some shade between gray and green..You should have seen Laura’s face, it was PRICELESS. We paid for them and dumped them.lol

We were so tired Saturday night that we drank some extra strength 5 hour energy and still knocked out.lol

Sunday:

Sunday was my last day   I packed up and we headed over to Mama’s Hot Tamales   to have brunch with Karla and Saffy, part of Laura’s beautiful chosen family. ( if you are in LA..go there. Not only is the food wonderful, what they are doing for the community is incredible. You get to eat good food and support the community? YES do it) We were all starving and ordered all kind of goodness. I don’t think there is much better than good food accompanied by good conversation..lots of talk of arts and spirituality. I was in heaven and had a full belly. They told us about a ceremony they had done and one like it coming up in August and we are both almost busting at the seams wating to take part.

Unfortunately, I had a flight to catch, so we headed back to LAX and said our long “see ya in less than two weeks” and I was back guiding my way through security.

The flight was PACKED but we got in STL fifteen minutes early which is always nice. My mom, aunt, and cat came to pick me up. We stopped at Whitecastles to get some late dinner (It was after 10 by this time) and they were so incredibly slow that as we pulled off finally my cat pooped in her crate!!! It was horrible..not the welcome home I was looking for from her..but that’s life.

That was my trip (long winded I know..but the next one will be LONGER.lol)

I will be returning to LA next Thursday so stay tuned for that one.

Thank you Baby for another wonderful trip..see ya on the 9th.

Peace!

Soundtrack..Track 1

Periodically, because I am in love with music, I will post tracks to my “I’m moving up and onward” sound track

First up…

Everyday is one day closer..and it feels good